If you’re like 3.08 billion people in today’s world, you probably use social media. It’s been a staple in our lives for many years now, and it can be hard to imagine a world without it!
The beauty of the internet is the ability to connect with others. Our stories can now be shared to hundreds and thousands of people in a matter of minutes. Incredible! It’s there where we can develop meaningful relationships online and feel like we aren’t alone in our experiences. Additionally, until recent years women did not feel comfortable or empowered to speak on their fertility issues. However, over the years, female influencers have changed that.
Beyonce, Carrie Underwood, Anne Hathaway, and many other types of influencers and stars have opened up about their struggles with their fertility. Showing women around the world, that every woman goes through fertility differently, and that there’s no shame if you’re struggling.
Like many things, there is a double-edge sword to social media and fertility. While social media conversations are propelling the fertility dialogue that has long been needed in our culture, it also competes with itself by giving individuals a way to endlessly ask family planning questions to struggling couples.
What’s So Wrong With That?
The short answer is: it’s a painful reminder of what they are struggling with. Actress and author, Gabrielle Union, says it best from a quote in her book, We’re Going to Need More Wine:
“For so many women — and not just women in the spotlight — people feel very entitled to know, ‘Do you want kids?’ A lot of people, especially people that have fertility issues, just say ‘no’ because that’s a lot easier than being honest about whatever is actually going on. People mean so well, but they have no idea the harm or frustration it can cause.” – Gabrielle Union, 2017
There’s a lot of reasons why people feel the need to ask such questions. Perhaps they are too young/inexperienced to know how that affects someone or the fact that social media leaves out the physical interaction and cues that would indicate not to ask those questions. No matter what the case may be, if you are going through issues with fertility, you can use these tips to handle these uncomfortable situations:
- Don’t be afraid to set boundaries, even with your friends and family. You don’t have to explain yourself or apologize, just let them know that their comments make you uncomfortable and you’d like them to stop. If they don’t do this, you are allowed to block, hide and delete comments as you see fit.
- Purge your “friends” list on social media from people who are toxic or not friends with you anymore. Especially remove those who have made you uncomfortable on social media.
- Go offline. You don’t have to take this as a sign of defeat, but a break! Sometimes we need to treat ourselves. Take this time away from the phone or computer to do something you know you’ll enjoy. This could be a hot bath, a nice date with your partner, or reading a book you’ve been meaning to get around to.
Wino Gyno | Episode 7 | Reproductive Health & Infertility
It’s Wino Gyno time! We’ve got Kate O’ Leary, MD, MS, FACOG from Institute for Reproductive Health to talk about…Reproductive Health! Surprise, surprise. 😉 Cheers! 🍷Special thanks to: The Wine MerchantWe got another one coming next week! See you then!
Posted by Mt. Auburn Obstetrics & Gynecology on Thursday, February 20, 2020
Lastly, don’t be afraid to remind people about the weight of their words. They may be well-meaning, but such things as relationships and family planning can be very personal. That can be hard to talk about! More so, you don’t have to divulge any information you don’t feel okay to share. If anyone doesn’t like that answer, well frankly that’s too bad for them. They are not entitled to knowing your life. Everyone has their own journey, and their story to tell when they are ready.
Our doctors at Mt. Auburn OBGYN are experienced in diagnosing and planning treatment for infertility, and they are just a call away. We are here for you!